I gotta pee, gotta pee,
- gotta pee, gotta pee. - Dude, wait.
Embry, what's up? You caught me at a really bad time.
I just wanted to thank you for saving me the other day.
Kid, you know the way to my heart,
but I drank a bit too much toilet water this morning, so--
- I mean-- - Seriously?
If it wasn't for you, I might have been lost downtown forever.
I would've had to befriend the rats
and train them to steal food and clothing just for me to survive.
Okay, that's a lot to unpack.
Bye for now.
I gotta go deal with Mom now.
I'll just leave the bacon here.
Well, bravo.
I didn't realize street dogs like you were house-trained.
I was ready to offer you a pee pad.
I don't need a pad to pee in the house. They have several highly absorbent rugs.
Aah, I just got a blowout.
Dumb mutt.
Embry, kiddo, we should get going. Volunteer parents can't be tardy.
Actually, Mom, I think I may be sick.
That sounds really bad.
Nice try.
Finished my bacon. Now what's next?
Lucky Charms?
Marshmallow rainbows only, please.
Here you go, bud.
Great news. My guy at the foundry
says he's got extra metal scraps that he's willing to unload for free.
So I got to go.
Too hot. I love you all.
You're still taking Noah to school, right?
No time.
Marvin, hi. I think that you are forgetting
that I took the day off to be Embry's class parent
because of the whole, you know,
our-nine-year-old-went-downtown-by-herself and-we-didn't-even-notice situation.
I can still understand what you're saying when you do that, Mom.
But this is like the Black Friday of scrap metal, so I can't miss it.
But if neither one of us takes Noah to school, that... means...
- What? - Noah, buddy. Um...
how would you feel about taking the bus?
Take the bus?
I've been on a bus before. Lotta weirdos.
Don't worry. We're not gonna force you to take the bus.
I'm sure you can be a little late to pick up your scraps.
What, you think I'm the only abstract metal sculptor
currently in need of bronze to complete his statue?
Well, I'm not. But your mom's right, Noah.
I mean, we would never force you.
Simon takes the same bus.
Here's an idea. Why don't we just reschedule Embry's school thing?
Awesome idea, Dad.
Reschedule, postpone indefinitely, cancel forever.
All excellent options.
And it's just this one time.
Being the volunteer parent is a very coveted job.
I snagged this spot because Lana Friedland's mom
overdid it at an all-you-can-eat sushi place and got mercury poisoning.
I'll never get this lucky again.
Well, I'm sure there'll be another near-death fish experience.
I'll do it.
I'll take the bus. You guys shouldn't give up your plans.
I'll have Dude. It'll be fine.
Are you sure?
Because I think it's really unfair of them to ask you to do this.
Plus...
I think I may have mercury poisoning.
There he is. Welcome to my bus stop.
I think you'll find it clean, comfy, and user-friendly.
- It's just the side of the road. - And if you had my smelling abilities,
you'd know that raccoons mated here.
Very recently.
How long till the bus gets here?
Should be here in a few minutes.
So...
I have some big news.
We already heard about Lana Friedland's mom.
I like Amara.
I like her, too.
No, no, no. No.
See, I like Amara.
Wow.
Um, probably should just keep that between us for now.
You know, since she doesn't really like people, in general.
Particularly you.
There's the bus.
Look, I know you're nervous, but I swear, the bus is no biggie.
I've been taking it for years, and everyone's super-friendly.
Yee. Prison buses look friendlier.
How many miles is school from here? I-- I kind of feel like walking.
Are you starting to have a...
Okay, I'm gonna say yes, because the bus now looks like a Renaissance Fair.
Just follow my lead.
Bus can be a little clique-y.
In the front, we have the nerds.
Hey, Siheung. You play the re-release of "Final Conflict One" yet?
You can't sit here.
Siheung, you kill me.
Better seats further down, anyway.
The athletes are in the middle.
'Sup, Demani?
See, Demani isn't what you call a talker.
We'd be better off knowing nobody on this bus.
And predictably...
the cool kids own the back.
Hey, guys.
Um, just riding with my boy Noah here.
Mind if we--
Retreat!
Noah.
Sit here.
Stupid engine.
Should we be concerned about the engine?
Happens all the time. Now, where was I?
Yeah. I was talking about me and Amara
and how the heart wants what it wants.
So, you know,
I started making a list of different ways to tell Amara how I feel.
- There's just telling her... - Cafeteria girl.
Chicken nuggets girl.
Do you like Valerie?
What? No.
- Shh. - You should ask Valerie out.
We can double date.
- Me and Amara and you and Valerie. - Stop saying her name, dude.
By the way, Valerie throws the most epic Halloween party every year.
Well, so I've heard...
because I've actually never been invited.
Someone needs to spray your face with water.
Hey, look.
- It's Turd-o. - I knew I smelled something rank.
Actually, it's Turbo.
- We've gone over this. - Shut up, Turd-o.
- We don't care. - Um, maybe we should move.
No, it's okay. Me and the twins joke around like this all the time.
Noah and I were talking about our girlfriends
and all the epic events coming up on our social calendars.
Wait. Did you just say you have a girlfriend?
Well, technically, no, not yet.
But we're gonna have girlfriends soon, right, Noah?
Heh. Even your buddy thinks you're a joke.
This kid is straight tripping.
I just want to rip off his head and eat it.
Yeah.
I would've used my handy pee-on-the-bad-guys trick,
but I don't think it works on ogres.
Let's get this hunk of junk back to school.
There's Mrs. Francisco. Hi.
What lovely artwork.
Clearly George has never seen a tree before.
Here's the deal, Mom. All a volunteer parent does
is sit in the back and play "Words With Friends."
Sweetie, I got it.
I am here just to support you and--
This is actually where your desk is?
Because there's no way that you can see the board from here.
- You should switch. - My name's already laminated on this desk.
Don't worry. I got it.
Mom.
Hi.
Mom.
- Mom! - Hello.
Come on.
Come on, sweetie.
Come here.
Perfect. Try it out.
Well.
Why don't we get started?
Mrs. Ferris... please, take a seat.
Yes. If you need me, I'll...
be in the back.
We're going to be practicing our... recorders this morning.
Embry, since you're already right here,
why don't you grab one from the box and play us your song?
One second.
These things are germ magnets.
Heh.
See? All right, sweetie.
So we're just not gonna talk about what happened?
Guys.
Today they announced the school musical, and you'll never believe what it is.
The Musical!
So it's from Elliot sister's POV,
and she gets to sing this killer ballad.
Also, there's a monkey fungus outbreak in the school. We're all gonna die.
- Cool. - That's awesome.
- What is going on with you guys? - Nothing. Everything's fine.
Are you sure?
Yeah, no. Totally sure.
I mean, it was your first time riding the bus.
You had a lot going on.
Ms. Fleckburg?
I ate a breakfast burrito from the gas station again.
Go.
Aw, he got breakfast burritos without us?
What happened on the bus?
These two eighth-graders wouldn't leave Simon alone.
The twins.
I didn't know what to do.
So, instead of trying to help him, I just went and sat in another seat.
I bailed on him, and that's why he's acting weird.
When is he not acting weird?
It just seems like you're not good at confrontation.
Yeah, well, I'm worried I'm gonna do the same thing on the bus ride home,
and then he'll never talk to me again.
Settle down, my future presidents.
Today we will start class with a poem I wrote in high school.
- I can help you. - Really?
- How? - I stand up to people all the time.
Well, not literally.
Amara, I'm trying to start the class.
Well, I'm trying to help my friend.
Totally. My bad. Just let me know when you're ready.
She's definitely the alpha.
Okay, confrontation 101.
It's all about having the right attitude.
Grr...
Okay, you go.
Grr?
Not sure why that ended in a question.
Speaking up for yourself is key.
Dude, you're up.
Noah, your dog is literally eating your homework.
- Tell him to stop. - But he seems to want it more than me.
You have to be assertive.
Whoops.
Probably shouldn't have used your real homework.
Remember, don't let people push you around.
Get out of my way.
- Sorry. - Don't say sorry.
Aah.
Right. Sorry for saying sorry?
Hope you remembered to charge your ride because we're gonna be here all day.
The Egyptians were master engineers.
So, even though you're using glue,
your sugar cube pyramid must--
George, stop eating your pyramid.
Hey.
Psst.
Look what I swiped for you.
- Mom. - Now yours can be the biggest one.
They're all supposed to be the same size.
Hey, no fair! Embry has more sugar cubes.
Don't be a narc, Jean.
Embry, you always have to be thinking in terms of extra credit.
Now, I don't know if I've told you this before,
but I was valedictorian on Smith.
- You've told me many times. - And I actually studied hieroglyphics.
Can you tell me how to write, "Mom, stop talking"?
Eyeball, vulture, cup.
Okay. I'll stop.
But, baby, you just have to let the glue set before you add more.
No, not yet!
Don't!
Mom!
Why can't you just leave me alone?
I swear to God, George.
Okay, let's try this again.
Grr.
Grrr-eat!
Nope. That's Tony the Tiger.
Turd-o alert.
Aw, look at him.
Can't wait to hear more about your girlfriend on the bus.
I'm never gonna be able to stand up to them.
Not with that attitude.
Give me another, "Grrr."
There's no point.
You're right. Might as well give up.
Hey, that's not fair.
Sure, he isn't as good at grr-ing as me, but he's only human.
Well, I've tried everything, and you've made zero progress.
I mean, you'll never be able to stand up for Simon, let alone yourself.
Yes, I can. Maybe the problem isn't me.
Maybe it's just your dumb training. Did you ever think of that?
And there it is.
Hey, where'd this guy come from?
I didn't realize I had that in me.
So, blowing up at me was all part of the training.
Yes.
Thanks for all your help today, Amara.
You're welcome.
I mean, I did get to run you over with my wheelchair.
Yeah.
I think you broke one of my toes.
Hey, Embry. Don't worry.
We can easily fix the pyramid.
I know where Mrs. Francisco keeps the surgae cubes.
It's not about the pyramid.
This whole day, you've been all up in my space.
You went from not noticing when I'm gone
to not leaving me alone.
I was just trying to show you that I care about you, and-- and...
that I want to be involved in your life just as much as Noah's.
But I don't need as much attention as Noah.
I just need you to find a happy medium with me, Mom.
I can do that.
I love you, kiddo.
Love you, too.
Happy medium, Mom.
Bye, Embry. See you later.
We can do this. Right, Dude?
Probably not, but I'll pretend, for your sake.
You sure you want to sit here?
I'm sure.
So...
anyone learn anything new today?
Hey, look. Turd-o's back.
Stinking up the place as usual.
Hey, guys, I'm not feeling so jokey this afternoon.
Any chance we can put this tease sess on hold until tomorrow?
Of course. We'll reschedule it for a time you're feeling more up for it.
Really?
No.
Aw. Is Turd-o gonna cry?
Let's snap him in two.
That seems excessive.
Come here. Get out of there now.
Grr.
Yeah, it's really not your thing.
Leave Simon alone!
Sit down.
You two, I've had enough of your garbage.
Take a seat behind me and make yourselves comfortable
because you're gonna be there the rest of the year.
You deserve it.
Yeah, right.
You okay?
Yeah. Thanks for having my back.
You should be thanking the bus driver.
Nah. I know how hard that was for you.
I was thinking about it today, and...
I get I can be a bit much sometimes.
Well... I still shouldn't have bailed on you this morning.
Ach, it's all good.
I need to learn not to use my surround-sound voice
when talking about you and...
Valerie.
I get that kind of thing makes you uncomfortable.
We cool?
You can't celebrate without me.
Thanks, Dude.
So I was kind of hoping there was a reward for retrieving your lunchbox.
No? Okay.
I'll remember that for next time.
Just a heads-up-- 50/50 chance the bus makes it home.
What up, A-Money?
Did I mention that your wheelchair looks extra-shiny today?
- What are you doing here? - Are you kidding?
I couldn't wait to hear how it went, so I asked my parents to drop me off.
So?
- It was... - Awesome.
Really?
- I want details. - Okay.
Hey, Noah.
Nice Fleet Foxes shirt.
Did you hear that?
Valerie likes his shirt.
There's a lot of people looking at other people
the way I look at bacon.
Which can only mean one thing.
I'm starving.